Random post

I know this has nothing to do with beauty, but I've been having a really hard time coping with a few experiences I've gone through in the last couple days and thought I'd be okay if I just vented a little. So on December 23, 2012 I was involved in a really bad car accident.. It was not in any way caused by me. But the person in the other vehicle did not make it.. He was under the influence, and swerved into my lane at a verrrry high speed. In my small town of only 13 miles of road, the highest speed limit is only 45 mph.. For some reason, he was clocked at 80 mph a little bit before the accident site.. 80 mph? Where on earth are you going if you have to be going that fast?! I have no idea.. I was just on my way home from a friends house, when I saw him swerving into my lane, completely sideways.. And crashed into me. Both cars totaled, and he did not make it :( I understand that nothing was my fault, but just knowing that the other person in an accident that I was involved in did not make it, is a verrrry heavy weight on my heart. Coming from a small town of only 13 miles of road, I knew who this person was, but did not know him personally.. Regardless, this is a small community, and losing anyone is tragic. I did not know him, but we are not somehow connected by this crash. And it hurts me so bad that he did not make it.. I did not get any cuts from the crash, but I did get some badly bruised knees from the dash board (I am short and have to be very close to reach), some "severe whiplash" as the doctors called it, some muscles in my back were pulled, and I hit my nose on the steering wheel. These are minor injuries compared to the ones suffered by him, I am still alive, yet will be recovering for awhile, but none of these injuries compare to the emotional hurting I am feeling. I've been having anxiety, and am kind of scared in my own home who h is really not a good thing. It is now 4:13am and I have not slept yet, and my sleeping schedule is being affected greatly by the anxiety. I think I've lost about 15lbs in the last month just from not eating (which is not on purpose)..
Everyone has been as understanding as they can be. I'm still dealing with this tragic incident, as best as I can. But the people around me have been doing the best they can. No one else was in the accident, just the other person and me. But he is gone now. No one knows exactly what I'm going through. Yes, a lot of people have been in accidents, but no one was there, with me, through this one. And this is the first experience I've had like this..
I just had to get that off my chest. there might be a few more of these, just to help me through this rough time. I hope no one minds..
The first picture is of the two cars at the crash, mine is the Durango and his is the small grey car. And the second picture is of the 2 cars at the impound where they both are, I think, still sitting there because obviously they're both totaled :(